Keeping in mind Slater's stint as a lifeguard at Malibu Sands Beach Club and Mario Lopez playing Greg Louganis some years ago, this tweet amuses me.
This tweet also means there should be a Malibu Sands review today. Oh, yes. And why not start at the beginning?
Plot summary
It's the first Malibu Sands episode, so a lot of it is setting the scene. The gang, sans Lisa, is spending the summer working at the beach club where Lisa's folks are members. Lisa spends the entire summer there alongside them, doing not all that much unless plot demands. Slater and Kelly are hired as lifeguards, Jessie apparently as nothing in particular initially (whu?). though her mouthiness gets her the receptionist's job, and Zack and Screech are hired as waiters. Why anyone would give Screech a job that would require extensive contact with beach club members and their food is beyond me, but then I'm not in HR.
Zack, while good at sucking up to members, doesn't seem to have learned about basic workplace diplomacy and is the least professional of the gang. His mouth gets him demoted to "social director", though with his attitude, demoting him to "not actually a member of staff" would have been a perfectly legitimate course of action.
We once more get to watch our gang interact with an Each Coast character. A moody, uppity woman with a stick up her arse.
Methinks West Coast folk have certain ideas about East Coast dwellers...
Let's see if actually sticking around for a few episodes to soak up the California sun will mellow her out, shall we?
Conversational clues
This episode has a lovely scene of the gang minus Zack (it's a surprise party) and Screech (it's a surprise party and for once the gang remembers it'll not be a surprise if you involve Screech in any way) busy organising Zack's birthday party. In this scene, which mixes conversation with looks and touches in a way that makes the order of this blog seem most pointless, we find out that Kelly and Jessie will stay at Lisa's family beach house, presumably even less supervised than they are at home since Lisa's parents are busy surgeons. Jessie refers to it as her and Kelly "moving in", which makes it sound all official and grown-up. They are very happy with this arrangement, and when Kelly expresses her gratitude, she and Lisa share a sweet hug and a sweet look that makes me wonder what exactly they have planned for their time together.
Here's a picture:
Isn't it just the sweetest?
The actual living together is not without it's problems, though.
Is it ever?
I guess they've known each-other for too long to still have that new relationship glow that makes the other party's faults, if not invisible, at least not that irritating.
The problems are that Jessie snores to the point where it wakes Kelly, something that is discussed in a way that implies they share a room at the very least, and is messy in a way that Kelly and Lisa refuse to tolerate.
Kelly, meanwhile, has a tendency to hum energising tunes while getting dressed for her early-morning runs.
Which brings me to the next point.
Kelly's athletic activities.
She's hired as a properly qualified lifeguard, she's a regular runner, and from what we've seen in the regular school year episodes, she's in all kinds of teams, including softball. She's a jock, plain and simple. Not particularly butch, but still. She may not be particularly open about it on camera, but she's basically a lesbian cheerleader avant la lettre. She has the sportiness and the attitude to grow up to be a good P.E. teacher (and, if I may say so, seems to lack the academic abilities needed to become a doctor). I remember what Clueless taught me about female P.E. teachers. They're awesome.
NB no reference is made (ever, IIRC) of the guys' sleeping arrangements. As far as I'm concerned, they're similar to that of the girls except either at the beach house of a friendly sugar daddy or at some Carosi-sponsored hovel they'd have to share with the rest of the male employees.
Well, hello sailor!
Speaking of our lads, there are a few instances in which Zack goes on about how he wants to win over Stacey. He fails in fairly spectacular ways, and every time Slater is there, gleefully rubbing it in and happy in the knowledge that he doesn't have to share Zack quite yet.
Looks
Apart from that lovely moment Lisa and Kelly shared, there's not much to find in this episode, looks-wise. The only thing is an extra behind Zack and Slater who seems to stare at Slater rather intently. He seems to harbour certain thoughts. Slater only has eyes for Zack, though. It's a tough life, being an extra...
Touches
After one of Zack's failed attempts at getting Stacey to like him, Slater puts his elbow on Zack's shoulder. Not overtly possessive, at least not before we cut to the next scene, but still making sure to do the nearest socially acceptable thing.
Cross-dressing
None
Queer Gear
Nothing much, really. Damn uniforms! The closest I could think of was the pink volleyball Lisa was holding for no apparent reason, which is really just random pinkness rather than something that could be interpreted as some sort of covert statement or sign of allegiance.
Random observations of note
When Zack is busy being social director, he goes around applying sun screen to sensible young women and helping similar, or even the same young women improve their volleyball skills. During all this, he gets very close to them, physically.
Much closer than I'd expect women to let random lads get regardless of their job description.
Unless you expect them to not have certain ideas or intentions, if you consider him no potential threat, romantically/sexually speaking.
It is my strong suspicion that these women assumed Zack was gay rather than any-which-way and therefore "safe". Trust Zack to take full advantage of this.
Until Carosi puts a stop to it, that is.
Screech and his water precision made me think of the assumed-gay jocks in Heathers, but I suspect early-90s SoCal is not the same about fancy bottled water as late-80s Ohio and the water knowledge is more for the members than for himself, so it doesn't really count.
Also, if I ever celebrate my birthday in a way that involves cake, I want the cake to say "happy wrong number by the sea" and see how many people besides me would get it.
Quote of the Episode
Goon hitting on Kelly: What do you have to do to get a little mouth-to-mouth?
Kelly: Try drowning.
Way to go Kelly! Of course, this idiot actually goes and tries it out later in the episode. Turns out Kelly is a good lifeguard and she saved him before he was far enough gone to need mouth-to-mouth, so his twisted little plan failed.
Rating
8/10
Mostly because of the girls, with their living together, especially Kelly since she adds some jock to the mix.
Slater's reaction to Zack's consistent failing Stacey-wise and the bikini-clad member's ideas about Zack certainly help, but this episode belongs to the girls.
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